I Went To The Gym On a Holiday So Suck It

Since it is a holiday and we got places to be and things to eat... Today's post is a collective of best of Facebook posts (please overlook the egotistical nature of this post and bask in the glow of the fact I'm basically phoning this one in):

‎"I'm training for the NYC 1/2 Marathon." ... "Oh, well I'm training for the Jack Daniel's Classic 2010."

Hey crazy lady on the red line, don't harass the girl scouts selling cookies in the station... those cookie dealers are doing God's work. March 2 at 4:23pm

When you switch from working in the arts to software the words "development" and "script" no longer mean the same thing. March 18 at 2:41pm

Guys... it's Friday... I'm gonna make like a shepherd and get the flock outta here... make like a loaf of French bread and baguette... make like The Exorcist and get the hell outta here. March 19 at 4:31pm

So Char and I were hanging out by the docks in Quincy today and decided if we had a boat we would name it "Your Mom". Think about it, "We spent all day scrapping the barnacles off Your Mon." Please feel free to contribute. April 3 at 5:14pm

While waiting in line for our megabus, two girls walk like they are about to cut us. Cue Meg: You know I will shank a bitch if she tries to cut us in line.

Charlotte and I on the vet visit for Batman this afternoon. Charlotte: We stormed in there with him smelling like pee and screaming, those poor vet techs. Me: That's probably what Wal-Mart workers feel everyday. May 5 at 7:36pm

You know how you want to 'like' something, but you know it's gonna be hella popular and everyone and their mom are going to comment on it and then your email will explode with comments you don't care about, but you don't want to turn off that notification b/c what if someone comments on some other witty remark you made... on your friend's page and you like having your sense of humor ego stroked? May 28 at 11:56am

God created Saturn... and he liked it... so he put a ring on it. June 2 at 9:11pm

I may not be able to attend Pride this year b/c we'll be in the Outer Banks, but I'll tell you what I will be doing on Sunday night. TONY'S. It's like the gay Super Bowl only Double Covereage is a little different. June 10 at 11:48am

Me: Guys, what if I were a DJ?
Charlotte: I could see you, "Hey guys, I know this is a rock station, but I'm gonna play a little Patti LuPone." June 28 at 10:34pm

Making sticky buns from scratch is not for the faint of heart nor for those that value sleep like it's a kid with their halloween stash and dad comes in and says, "I need to check it to make sure it's safe", but you really know he's gonna boost your Butterfingers and Fun Dip. July 1 at 5:40am

Hey. You guys remember that time we could walk outside of your apartment not sweat your makeup off in less than thirty seconds and be so drenched in sweat that it looked like you did jumping jacks in the attic, but really all you did was tie your shoe? Me too. July 18 at 10:17am

I need a good piano bar after today. Nothing fixes a crappy day better than belting a showtune while drinking the house specialty drink "How Do You Solve a Problem Like Sangria". July 19 at 6:21pm

Going to see "Despicable Me" with Meg Curtis, Dana Lyford and Alexis Schuette. And probs have a beer during the show b/c if you can't enjoy a beer during an animated feature then we let the terrorists win. July 24 at 1:15pm

Just got my ass handed to me by my personal trainer Tyler. "Squat like you mean it Kate!!" "... I don't think you want me to do that Tyler." July 30 at 8:04pm

Ok world, do we have to have this discussion again? Fine. The following things should not be seen in daylight: 1. Women above size 14 in skinny jeans-we've talked about this 2. Business men on recumbent bikes-I don't care if you are saving the earth, you look like a douche 3. Gauge piercings- if I can jump rope with it... you've gone too far. Shut it down. August 13 at 10:15am

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE.